Did I do that?

Yes sireeee, Bob!  And how appropriate is that?  What I did actually concerns a man named Bob!
There is this musician in Austin...let's call him Bob because that is his name,but it totally sounds like it could be a pseudonym, right?  Either way.   I went to see a show of his for the first time and it was awesome.  Seriously entertaining.  He was funny, witty and the music was good, to top it off he is cute and has this "i'm not trying to be super cool, but I am" style about him.   I had no idea! So of course I went home and googled him.    Lots of disturbing and strange info abounds, am I dissuaded?  No....fascinated!  He is different, very different.
  So long story short....one evening as I sit in my pj's doing shit on the internet at 10:30 at night, it dawns on me that he'll be playing around the corner again soon.  so I look up his web page only to see that he is there right this minute, ending his show probably at the very instant I realize he has a show tonight.  I had limited time in which to reflect upon my options, so I seized the moment, threw on my dress, locked my front door, gave my baby's monitor to my next door neighbor and told him I'd be back in 10 minutes.  The bar was only 3 minutes down the road, tops.  as luck would have it, Bob was walking out to his car right as I pulled into the parking lot.  Fantastic! What? Fantastic?  are you sure about that?  no, not sure, because I don't actually take the time to think before I act.  What fun would that be?
  I roll down my window and he stares at me-not so much in a friendly, I think you're cute way, as in a who is this person rolling down their window to say something to me way.  I should've said, " I'm sorry, can you tell me which way blah blah blah street is?" and then smiled sweetly-that would've been awesomely subtle.  I did not do that.  I chose to introduce myself with a " Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime?" I didn't even mention my name..... Who am I?  nevermind, we'll get to that later.  
  Did he jump at the opportunity I so suavely presented to him?  Surprisingly, no.  Very surprising to me at the time, although not so much in retrospect.  Also very amusing to me. despite my lack of success at obtaining a date something even better came of it.  I realized that I THOROUGHLY enjoy behaving strangely.  I will smile for the rest of my life when I think of how ridiculous it was that I did that.  Ridiculous and fun.
There is more to that story, but the moral ended up being that I that I frickin love being me, even when I am getting rejected, sometimes even more when I am getting rejected.

I treasure people who bare their delusional hearts willingly

I wish I had someone to give this note to..I will keep it in my supply box in the event of a tragic break-up

My Life is a Rock Opera

in my head....and quite often as sung by me in the car, in the house, and occasionally in the grocery store.
Not only do I enjoy songs so intensely that I must sing and dance along, but I've realized that I am internalizing many of the lyrics to the extent that I actually project that story onto my life.   Example:  I am pretty sure I liked this guy waaaaayyyy more than I ever would've liked him because I encountered a few choice songs that were so poetic and beautiful in their expression of devotion and basically unrequited love, that I adopted those feelings.  I think my photo definitely deserves a place in the dictionary right next to the word "impressionable".   It helped that he stopped liking me after acting like he liked me a lot...basic psychology says that is going to make me think I want him..A LOT, but songs like "Make you feel my love" by Adele and "Animal" by Neon trees are so awesome that I felt compelled to enact them in my own life.   Now I am aware of what I was doing, but I'm not sure at all that it means I will be always be cautious in the future about what music I get sucked into.  Right now I am thinking "It hurts so good, come on baby make it hurt so good",  so it would seem that my brain is addicted to the drama.  Crap. crap. crap. And I was so convinced that I did not have an addictive personality. Actually thought I was the only one in my family to escape the addiction gene.  Addicted to manifesting songs as my own life.  I totally have to take Colbie Callait off my itunes before I meet someone new or all bets are off, I'll be in love in 2 seconds.  (Shut up, I know it usually only takes me 5 seconds to fall in love).   All I can think to do is start writing my own songs- and then have someone else change them to be practical-and then only listen to those songs.  Nooooo....that would be excruciating.  I got it.  I will change the lyrics of the songs I am living.  "Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends"  will henceforth be " Here we go again, you make me wanna puke out both ends".
That is catchy.

Donuts are Bad, Boys are Bad

Donuts are bad, boys are bad somehow became a mantra of mine in high school before I ever knew what the hell a mantra was.  I really don't care about donuts now, so Chocolate is bad, Men are frickin worse is my new mantra.   Both get me into a lot of trouble when they are around and I am bored.  Not even really bored, it's enough if I am not intensely occupied in another pursuit for trouble to ensue.
  For instance there are many large bags of Halloween candy tied up in plastic bags and thrown up on the highest shelf in my pantry, but as soon as nightfall comes and I am deciding what to do with my time...climbing up and getting candy seems to take precedence over everything else.  In previous years I have banned the candy being in the house until a day or two before Halloween because there is no pretending that I will not eat it all and have to buy more if I bring it home any sooner than that anyway.  This year I somehow convinced myself that:
 a.  all the good candy would be gone if I waited to long to buy it
 b. I had suddenly acquired a sufficient amount of will power to not eat the candy
 c. it mattered if the  kids got the kind of candy that I prefer
None of that is true, but it seemed reasonable when I was standing in front of all the candy.
So the candy is eaten, every night.  And every night I wish the candy was not eaten and was not in my house at all.   It's not even candy I would ever eat if it wasn't halloween, it's just the best of the standard halloween fare.  Normally a twix bar hold absolutely no appeal to me.  I'll take my organic dark chocolate or truffles and scoff at the pathetic twix bar. I would never throw one in my cart at the grocery store.   So why when it is sitting in my house does it suddenly seem like I must eat it?  I will never understand it, but I must accept it as reality and never, never, never buy candy until the day before Halloween again.
 
 

Perfect responses

Something just reminded me of the two best responses I received after informing someone of my recent divorce.  Both notably came from Aquarians. Notable only because I note those sort of things away in my brain as part of the profile I am forming of each sign.  Both, also notably, I had not spoken with in YEARS, which makes their comments all the more hilarious.
 Heidi responded with an absolutely sincere, "Oh! So is that a good thing?!", while nodding her head as one would do when saying "wow, cool!"  It may not come across on the page, but the difference from the usual "ohhhhh, I'm so sorry" response that I usually got or the "what happened, are you ok?" was striking enough to make me burst out laughing and I LOVED it.
 Dan, whom I had not spoken with in well, 8.5 years, offered up a hearty, " I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, the first one never works out anyway".  Even more funny is the fact that he is currently married to ....um his first and only wife thus far.  
 I love aquarians.

Where to start?

 So I am single for the first time in 8 1/2 years and before that I was young and just stumbled into relationships with zero premeditation, so I have in effect, no dating skills whatsoever.   This sounds like a complaint.... but it is NOT a complaint at all.  I am so brilliantly inept, that it is beyond amusing.  I am hilarious.  I am slightly afraid that I find my behavior so entertaining I might never correct it and enter into a successful relationship, but that is a risk, for now, that I am going to have to take.  For one thing, my stories make me laugh and there is nothing I like more than laughing.  Also they make my friends laugh.  And I've decided that I am actually doing the world and all those I love a service by openly embracing my impulsive, sometimes odd choices in behavior that may or may not leave me open to ridicule....I have opened the door for every girl who ever does the same thing to hold her head high and laugh at herself without the slightest bit of embarrassment.  Altruistic, right?  Not self-indulgent, but selfless.  I KNOW!
  So for every girl who knows what she is supposed to do and how she is supposed to behave, but feels absolutely compelled to do the exact opposite, knowing full well,  the outcome will not be good at all...welcome to my world, it is a magical place.   Magical in many senses, that illusion and delusion are embraced as reality and that extraordinary things are expected to happen at all times.  All this without the use of illicit drugs.  Just a hefty dose of imagination coupled with a relentlessly optimistic outlook and a delightful sense of mischief.   Can you couple with two things or does it have to be one? hmmmm...

The time has come

For years my friends have been telling me that I am so funny and I say, "yeah, but only in the shit that I write to you guys in emails."  My love for the utterly ridiculous has been hidden from the world at large until now.  The time has come for me to share it with anyone who cares to partake.  If nothing else, my friends will read and it will save me a lot of time repeating the same ideas and stories to everyone who I believe must really want to know!